How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
