So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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