I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
