Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
