You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
