I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
