so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
