the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
