The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
