I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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