At least make sure they are 18
Why
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
