They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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