I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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