Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
