I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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