I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
