and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
