Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize