He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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