the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
