she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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