the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
