it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize