Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
