woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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