from now on my penis is your penis
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
