i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm too high and old for this...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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