The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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