My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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