I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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