I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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