his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
