I have demons in me.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
