And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
