In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
