everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
