Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
