smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
from now on my penis is your penis
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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