my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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