dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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