if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
