people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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