im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So many bounce houses so little time
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
