But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
