if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
