I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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