you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
