He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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