I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize