So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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