She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think my vagina is haunted
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
