Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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