I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
