First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
