You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
