i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
