i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
