Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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